Orange Acct

NEWS - suggested forms TARP rescue ARE NOW AVAILABLE

One of the earliest forms that lawyers for banks across the country and California cities and in areas such as San Diego, Orange County, Newport Beach, La Jolla, Anaheim, Los Angeles, Santa Barbara and Palm Springs ( not to mention Wall Street) will be invited to prepare and be completed by customers of the bank is likely to be called TARP 1, named after the Troubled Asset Relief Program just passed by Congress to help these lawyers bank, we have made available to these draft forms.

TARP 1, we believe, probably look like this:

U.S. Department of NWWashington Treasury1500 Pennsylvania Avenue, 20220Attn DC: Hank Paulson

We _____________ to the Financial Institution, qualify under provision ___ of the Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP) as a financial institution in the U.S. with mortgage based securities.

While no sane person would now purchase these mortgage-backed securities based, other people you fine to the U.S. Treasury, and while these assets have a market value of absolutely nada on the open market, this We call for their sale to the U.S. Treasury nominal price of $_____ billion. We guarantee that this amount of money we will return to health and financial stability and protect us from the bankruptcy filing.

Please have the U.S. Treasury over the money immediately to the ACCT. # # ______________________, _______________________ From routing to our main branch in order not to be necessary for us to be able to give Christmas bonuses for executives of our fine American institution or cancel our annual retreat to the Cayman Islands .

We guarantee that no foreign government has more than 70% of our common or preferred shares and we pledge to vote Republican next election.

Sincerely,

CFO__________ financial institution

We expect TARP 2, for financial institutions who need to seek more money for something like this:

U.S. Department of NWWashington Treasury1500 Pennsylvania Avenue, 20220Attn DC: Hank Paulson

We _____________ to the Financial Institution, qualify under provision ___ of the Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP) as a financial institution in the U.S. with mortgage based securities. Former CFO of our company is no longer with us, after having been ejected from our Board of Directors.

While no sane person would now buy these mortgage securities that vary from our former chief financial officer failed to tell us, other people you fine to the U.S. Treasury, and while these assets have a value Merchant absolutely nada on the open market, we hereby request their sale to the Treasury of the United States at the nominal price of $_____ billion. Although we were wrong the last time that we have guaranteed billions of dollars that you gave us back to financial health and stability, we guarantee that this amount of money will almost certainly prevent us from filing bankruptcy .

Please have the U.S. Treasury over the money immediately to the ACCT. # # ______________________, _______________________ From routing to our main branch so we can afford to fly our executives returned from their annual retreat in the Cayman Islands.We guarantee that no foreign government has more than 90% of our common or preferred shares and we promise to vote Democratic next election.

Sincerely,

New CFO__________ financial institution.

If you have a bank, corporate or financial legal problem in Irvine, Orange County, La Jolla, San Diego, the Inland Empire, Los Angeles, Palm Springs or anywhere in Southern California, we have knowledge and R.